


Regret

by purgatorymaybe



Series: 300 One-Word Writing Prompts [1]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Im stuck on chapter two of ACOTS, M/M, hopefully going through this list will help, prompt list, single word prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 21:06:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18724996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purgatorymaybe/pseuds/purgatorymaybe
Summary: Section: The Human Experiencehttps://freelance-writing.lovetoknow.com/writing-prompts/300-one-word-writing-prompts





	Regret

“Do you regret it?”

Zhenya doesn’t stop chopping, but he does slow down, throwing a curious glance to his left. “Regret what?” He gently nudges their hips together, mindful of the knives in both their hands.

Sidney lets out a careful stream of air. He’s stopped slicing the cucumber, paring knife laying blade-side away, and Zhenya sees it’s because Sidney’s hands are trembling, so he sets his own knife away as well.

“Regret what,” he asks again, quieter. He didn’t know he had done anything to regret, and he’s curious to know what Sidney thinks, to have him coming undone like this.

“Coming out,” Sidney says, not meeting Zhenya’s gaze. “Choosing me, over your- over Russia.”

Zhenya holds back his initial reaction, which is to grab Sidney around the shoulders and yell at him that he is Zhenya’s family, fuck Russia and anyone else who says otherwise. But he knows Sid will take that as an opening to make it into a full-blown fight, and they’ll fume silently over dinner prep, ignore each other while they eat, and then go to bed giving each other the cold shoulder. Maybe not even the same bed, which is still Zhenya’s greatest fear, left over from their last fight; that they’ll be too angry with each other to still want the comfort of the other in their most vulnerable state.

So Zhenya takes a deep breath in, pushes aside the anger that he now recognizes to be a branch of fear, and places his left hand, palm up, next to Sidney’s right; an invitation, asking to trust and hear him out. Zhenya lets out his breath only when Sidney takes his hand, lacing their fingers together.

“Don’t regret loving you.”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Sidney says, looking like it physically pains him to not say it back.

“Listen, please.” Zhenya says firmly. “I love you. Is not easy choice, maybe, have to pick between country and Sid. Is never easy, have to choose from two things you love so much. But you know what is difference?”

Sidney swallows, a barely audible ‘click’, and looks at Zhenya out of the corner of his eyes. He shakes his head.

“You never make me choose,” Zhenya says softly. “You never say, ‘Geno, have to choose me or Russia. But if you choose Russia, we break up forever and I never love you again.’ You never say that to me.”

“Because that’s not fair!” Sidney explodes. “I know how much you love it there. You love playing for Team Russia, and your family’s there, why would I make you choose, if I knew that if you’d never get to go back, you’d be miserable?”

“Exactly!” Zhenya says fiercely, pointing their joined hands at Sidney’s nose. “That’s why I’m choose you. Because you care if I’m not happy. Russia don’t care, Sid. Don’t care if I’m miserable, if I’m never love anyone else again, have to fake relationship with women who’s not you for press. Don’t really want me happy, just want me be perfect puppet, win them medals and trophies.”

Zhenya runs his right hand up Sidney’s left forearm, pulling his elbow to turn him in to hold him. Sidney goes easily, practically melting in Zhenya’s arms. “Do I wish things go bit differently, Russia not make me choose? Yes, of course. Do I regret choice, think is mistake, stay with you forever? Absolutely not. Is not silly, you think this, you worry. But do not need to worry, because is not true. Choose you every time, I have to. Always choose you. Okay?”

“I’ll always choose you too,” Sidney whispers. He lifts his head from Zhenya’s chest, giving him a watery smile. “I love you.” He says it like an apology, kissing it into the edge of Zhenya’s jaw.

“Love you too,” Zhenya murmurs, pressing it into Sidney’s temple, where his hair is starting to curl again. “Any time you need me tell you all this, just say. Will tell you million times if I have to, never get tired.”

“A million times, eh?” Sidney giggles, his cheeks starting to flush a beautiful pink. “Hope it doesn’t come to that.”

“Will tell you anyway,” Zhenya says. “Many times, until you believe me.”


End file.
